Sunday, May 08, 2011

for my mama...

sometimes it is the unexpected, the unwanted, the unlikely that strengthens a relationship.

sometimes it is the not knowing that sweetens the preciousness of moments, of minutes, of days.

sometimes it is the knowing that you have one parent barely clinging to this life, to cause you to cling desperately to the One who gives life and in His sovereignty and with His purposes is mighty enough to take it away, when its time, and yet determines that it is not yet that hour.

sometimes it is only the sunrise and the sunset that remind you that God is faithful, since this solar system was suspended in the sky because He chose to place it there -- just "so" -- and faithfully everyday, He provides warmth by day to sustain us and rest by night to restore us.

sometimes it is okay to feel hopeless, to feel weakness, to feel desperate, to feel lost. whether we're standing or stumbling, He is Hope. He is Strength. He is the Tower of Refuge. He is the Finder, the Redeemer, the Keeper and the Guardian of our hearts, He's got our GPS coordinates. He's the Faithful One who never forsakes us. that's what He said.

sometimes it is questions and the relentless wondering & wandering that can propel us toward the truth, when we can count on nothing in this life but the constancy of change. He's the Beginning and the End, He who is the author and the finisher of our faith -- is the same. yesterday, today, and tomorrow. and He's the Lord Jesus who NEVER changes.

sometimes it is losing someone and nearly losing another that changes you forever. relationally, mentally, emotionally, physically.

today, mother's day, is one of those precious days to me -- it's a day that i've always celebrated my mama and my gramma, my sis, my aunts and my mama sisters, too! but even more so this year. this year, after nearly losing my mom last july, just down the hall in my daughter's room, i can celebrate the gift of hearing her voice from miles and miles away. these past several months of yesterdays make me appreciate the todays.

i am so grateful that my mama is a fighter. and courageous enough to allow God to be her strength when she is weak.

mama, i cannot find the right words to accurately and wholly express how much i love you. how much i need you, how much i miss you, how much i thank you. i am so boggled by your gracious heart and your forgiving spirit, by your enduring love. thank you for 32 years of tenderness and tough love, for the laughs and for the tears, for the encouragement and the correction, for the liberties and the boundaries, for the affirmation and the constructive criticism. thank you for all the walks we've been on, for all the times you've rubbed my pregnant feet (a lot, i know!), for the gift of your time and talks, for loving my children and my husband and me even when i'm grumpy.

thank you, mama {and thank you GOD}, for putting yourself last back in june/july when you chose AGAINST your PREFERENCES to be part of our trip to mexico. you put me before yourself when you said yes to my plea for help with my trenkletoes. which is such a picture of the pattern of your heart! and because of that -- i was given the gift of such a special season with you. i saw you at your absolute weakest and i saw you at your healthiest in ages. and my kids! my kids got the gift of your presence! even in the midst of the heartache + joy rollercoaster we experienced together with you. And even several days of just us daughters and you when Kristy came out! days I will treasure always!

i've heard it said that only 2 things go on forever. time and people. they are gifts: priceless, invaluable, irreplaceable.

that's what you are to me.
priceless, invaluable, irreplaceable.

and i'm so beyond blessed that even though we experienced trauma upon trauma, we did it together. and that we had the normalcy of driving each other crazy in between.

you amaze me.
and you ARE amazing.

mom, happy mother's day...

1 comment:

KI said...