Trenkle Toes

for my mama...

2011-05-08T00:12:00.001-07:00

sometimes it is the unexpected, the unwanted, the unlikely that strengthens a relationship.

sometimes it is the not knowing that sweetens the preciousness of moments, of minutes, of days.

sometimes it is the knowing that you have one parent barely clinging to this life, to cause you to cling desperately to the One who gives life and in His sovereignty and with His purposes is mighty enough to take it away, when its time, and yet determines that it is not yet that hour.

sometimes it is only the sunrise and the sunset that remind you that God is faithful, since this solar system was suspended in the sky because He chose to place it there -- just "so" -- and faithfully everyday, He provides warmth by day to sustain us and rest by night to restore us.

sometimes it is okay to feel hopeless, to feel weakness, to feel desperate, to feel lost. whether we're standing or stumbling, He is Hope. He is Strength. He is the Tower of Refuge. He is the Finder, the Redeemer, the Keeper and the Guardian of our hearts, He's got our GPS coordinates. He's the Faithful One who never forsakes us. that's what He said.

sometimes it is questions and the relentless wondering & wandering that can propel us toward the truth, when we can count on nothing in this life but the constancy of change. He's the Beginning and the End, He who is the author and the finisher of our faith -- is the same. yesterday, today, and tomorrow. and He's the Lord Jesus who NEVER changes.

sometimes it is losing someone and nearly losing another that changes you forever. relationally, mentally, emotionally, physically.

today, mother's day, is one of those precious days to me -- it's a day that i've always celebrated my mama and my gramma, my sis, my aunts and my mama sisters, too! but even more so this year. this year, after nearly losing my mom last july, just down the hall in my daughter's room, i can celebrate the gift of hearing her voice from miles and miles away. these past several months of yesterdays make me appreciate the todays.

i am so grateful that my mama is a fighter. and courageous enough to allow God to be her strength when she is weak.

mama, i cannot find the right words to accurately and wholly express how much i love you. how much i need you, how much i miss you, how much i thank you. i am so boggled by your gracious heart and your forgiving spirit, by your enduring love. thank you for 32 years of tenderness and tough love, for the laughs and for the tears, for the encouragement and the correction, for the liberties and the boundaries, for the affirmation and the constructive criticism. thank you for all the walks we've been on, for all the times you've rubbed my pregnant feet (a lot, i know!), for the gift of your time and talks, for loving my children and my husband and me even when i'm grumpy.

thank you, mama {and thank you GOD}, for putting yourself last back in june/july when you chose AGAINST your PREFERENCES to be part of our trip to mexico. you put me before yourself when you said yes to my plea for help with my trenkletoes. which is such a picture of the pattern of your heart! and because of that -- i was given the gift of such a special season with you. i saw you at your absolute weakest and i saw you at your healthiest in ages. and my kids! my kids got the gift of your presence! even in the midst of the heartache + joy rollercoaster we experienced together with you. And even several days of just us daughters and you when Kristy came out! days I will treasure always!

i've heard it said that only 2 things go on forever. time and people. they are gifts: priceless, invaluable, irreplaceable.

that's what you are to me.
priceless, invaluable, irreplaceable.

and i'm so beyond blessed that even though we experienced trauma upon trauma, we did it together. and that we had the normalcy of driving each other crazy in between.

you amaze me.
and you ARE amazing.

mom, happy mother's day...

when kev grows up...

2010-12-07T22:41:00.000-08:00

kev declared tonight something so sweet... it needs proclaimed to the www.
bless his little heart.

my sweet boy, don't ever lose your tender hearted spirit.
love,
mama

a FRAGRANT love | march 6th ponderings

2010-03-06T02:15:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about lemon chamomile tea this week. Especially since the doc confirmed I have Acute Pharyngitis. I blushed, but I did tell him thank you. Lemon is good for the throat, yeah? Well there's this blend of tea that is good for my soul.

It's The Republic of Tea Lemon Chamomile.

And it smells like memories.
Memories of a raw heart.
Memories of salty tears, red puffy eyes.
Memories of an emptier home.
Memories of an ache that still comes and goes.
Memories of that first year after my Dad died.

It smells of grief and sorrow and loss and hopelessness and questions and togetherness but separateness.

I still have the original can that was purchased as a gift by our friend Sheila small. I keep the lid sealed tight to preserve the remnants of it's fragrance.

It triggers flashes, pictures stored in my mind's eye. Of how my 14yo sister came out to meet me on our front steps as I pulled into the driveway too fast after being summoned home. She was waiting there for me. Before I knew. Before I KNEW. Kleenex, so much kleenex and a contorted, pained, tear-soaked face and hair. I see pictures of how dark and cold the house felt on nights I could do nothing to ease the sorrow or ebb away the sound of a bereaved young wife. I could do nothing to fix it. So I fixed tea.

I worked at Shopko. It was an hour away from my house and I would drive and stare at the skies each night, dark midnight blue littered with a few frosty clouds and boasting with stars. I had one star that I searched out each night. It was the only thing that was predictable, solid in my world rocked by change. I would sing to that star and yell at that star.

All 59 minutes home.

I just wanted to hurry and walk back through my front door so I could comfort my mom with her tea. Provide her with one predictable thing.

You know, I don't know if she ever drank the full mug, but it was our routine. I bought her a lavender sleep mask in New York and I would warm it in the microwave while I steeped her tea. Lavender. Lemon. Chamomile. I just wanted to soothe my mom. I just wanted her to rest.

Sometimes I would get home and find my sister and brother had shut themselves in their rooms. And Mom would too.

Sometimes the Joe Cocker song we played at his funeral would fill the house, filtering out of the crack at the bottom of one of their bedroom doors. CRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS... Kawow wow kawow... I NEED SOMEONE TO LOO-OOOVE... That CD got played loud and always on repeat.

I remember when everyone was closed up in their own shattered worlds behind their closed doors and that song was echoing into the hallway and bouncing off the wood floors and into the cavernous void of my heart, I just walked around the house touching everything Dad had last touched. The blinds even. Well, the blinds especially. Dad had installed the blinds and then he died. The two should not go in the same conversation or even sentence or paragraph, but that was how the chapter was being written. It wasn't real. But it was.

I remember one night, my brother, Rob, found an Eric Clapton song that spring. "Tears in Heaven." I'd either never heard it before or it held no meaning for me before. But he brought it up to my loft above the garage and the 3 of us kids cried and cried and cried as we listened to it over and over. Rob wasn't even 13. Music. It feeds something inside us. And the music from that time still moves me. Memories have soundtracks. Don't they?

We lost Dad. It was so final.

And we all dealt with our loss differently.

In losing that one person came the death of the exponentiality (it's a word, I'm in the process of inventing it) of all the dynamics of our family.

There was the death of a husband-wife relationship {affecting 3 children}, there was the the death of a father-daughter relationship and another. And the death of a father-son relationship.

And not only those, but death came to the mother-to-daughter-daughter-son relationships when part of Mom's one flesh died leaving her un-whole (another vocabulary word today).

It rocked me.
It rocked us.

You know, when death comes, it's because death has an appointed time. And Dad's appointed time was March 6, 1996.

That was 14 years ago today.

I need to drink that lemon chamomile tea once in awhile. Because it triggers a heart response and a gut response.

If there's one thing I remember from my Biology classes, it was my fascination with the design of our olfactory glands and the sense of smell. {That and my zoological study of mallards, but that's another post.}

God designed our sense of smell -- it is intricately woven into our neurological system and is purposefully connected to our memory centers -- I think it's rad.

God loves fragrance. He talks about how our praise is like incense. He loves our offerings, it's like a huge, juicy, seriously tasty porterhouse steak smoking on the barbecue. He says each one of us is fragrant. I think I just really digg that about God, imagine how our fragrance fills the heavens! Dude.

So with this tea, the aroma as it's steeping and the taste, sweet from the honey and hot on my lips, I am transported back to when I was raw with grief. After 14 years, Jesus has done some healing, I'll tell you. He's done some rebuilding in my heart and so I'm not so raw, and it's good. And healthy. But sometimes? I just need to feel that devastation. Sometimes I want to allow myself to feel that overwhelming ache/void/rawness.

I need to breathe in its steamy lemony fragrance. It simultaneously makes me yearn for the yesterdays and the what-might-have-beens and makes me long for living a life of fullness -- a life with purpose.

It reminds me that I'm alive.

It reminds me that there is today.
It reminds me that I have choices.
It reminds me that I have hope.

It reminds me that the breath in my lungs is God-given.

It reminds me to breathe deeply.

And.

To exhale.

That breath? Is not mine to keep. That breath is not mine to hoard.
I wouldn't survive if I clung to it.

Clinging to that breath would be self destructive.

3.6.96 was not the end. Even though it felt like it at the time. It was a milestone, a memorial stone on this road I'm on.

We really don't know when our last breath will be.

But when that last breath is released, what will have preceded it? Am I exercising my love and heart and sharing truth and encouragement and hope? Am I restoring? Am I forgiving? Am I living beyond myself?Am I living like I'm alive? Am I giving my most loved my most best? I am oftentimes not!

That lemon chamomile blend is one of the signature notes of the fragrance that is my life.

I want to choose to not be stale.
I want to choose to be alive.
And live like it.
I want to give my most lived my most best.

I dont know why the Lord gave Dad breath for only 41 years and 355 days. But I do know that His plan is good.

The fragrance of that tea is the same. The star is in exactly the same spot. The hope, though, is larger than the expanse of midnight blue. And it's because of Christ.

It was a dark time. Everything fell apart. But I know, know, KNOW that there is a Redeemer who takes my ashes and gives me beauty. I've seen it. I've seen it in my children, my husband, and in His word.

Will you do me a favor today?Daughters, will you love on your dads or grandads for me? I would soooo give anything to love on mine.

And parents? Will you love on your beloved and your precious ones?

They are watching and listening to everything you do and say. If you were gone tomorrow, everything that you ARE and they PERCEIVE you to be is seared into their little minds and imprinted on their hearts. {ohhh, I cant wait to smooch and squeeze my trenkletoes} Your impact on them is profound. I know from experience, from a child's-eye-view -- I am still my dad's CHILD and his heart and hopes and his character are still forming my own heart and hopes and character. As a daughter and as a mother. I want to give my most loved my most best.

This has been one "smelly" week for me as a wife/mom/friend on lots of levels and both good and bad. I am weary of living for tomorrow instead of living ALIVE today.

I want to breathe deeply.
And exhale.
I want to cling to Jesus because He is the aroma of a love that knows no bounds.

And.
Because I know He savors the tea and the time with me.

***Jesus, tell Dad I respect him more everyday. That I need him as always and love him as ever. Tell him his 'Rocket' said so. And give him a huge hearty hug, if you would.

Thank you for that.

PB & Egg Sandwiches

2009-11-16T23:57:00.000-08:00

is up working.

and loving the little vignettes that come to mind from earlier in the day.

like at bedtime, bryson hollered for me...

MOOOOOM! I NEED TO TALK TO YOUUUU!
"yes, bryson?" [with only THE most patient & loving maternal voice]

MOM. I have a RECIPE for breakfast tomorrow, I need to tell you.
"cool, what is it?"

WE need to make 2 pieces of TOAST and an EGG. But not the kind with the OKE. Just the little eggs. [no, i didn't correct him, because he was so earnest.] No OKE. Just the little eggs, you know?
"sounds scrumptious, buddy."

kev was dying for his turn to tell his RECIPE.

this is it:
peanut butter & egg sandwich on toast, with jelly.

kevan insisted it was "gonna be sooo good, right mama?"

i am blessed with every minute i have with these babes. this busy, swamped, crazy, messy life we live is just right for me. i love these kids & would do anything for them.
one recipe at a time.

tippy? more like run head long!

2009-10-13T00:52:00.000-07:00

okay. where did my summer go?

all of a sudden:

i have a 6 year old.

a 5 year old.

a 3 year old.

and a soon-to-be 16-mo old.

and there are christmas decorations on store shelves.

wasn't it just memorial day?

time is no respecter of persons!

one minute we are tippying along (hehehe, right) at a leisurely pace (as if we've ever taken things slowly -- 4 kids in 6 years?) and the next thing i know we've covered miles and miles and MILES of ground.

i can only backtrack, i can't start from where i left off! too much going on, too many milestones, too many stories. sad, but true!

the one thing on my mind tonight is my oldest boy, bryson, my "strong boy" i call him. he's lost his first tooth. and it feels like it was yesterday, but it was 2 weeks ago! and now the other one is already growing in! what??? where is my pause button?! he's just my baby. but he's sooo not anymore. he reacted in just the way i thought he would whenever i thought about the teeth-losing season commencing for him. he was quite... panicked. upset. distraught. he is, after all, my reserved child. the one who wants no attention on himself. the one who resists change. (unless it's the 3 outfits he puts together throughout a typical day, depending on his choice of work, school or play at any particular quarter of an hour.)

he bit into a braeburn apple and his tooth... broke!!! it was FALLING OUT!!!! aaaaggghhhh! i guess it was only 11 days ago, i won't be so hard on myself. it happened about 12 minutes before we needed to pull out of the driveway to head to a nutrition appointment and it kept bleeding. and bleeding. thankfully i had a crumpled up papertowel that i rolled into a swab-like scroll to slide between the narrow space left by the "unbroken" teeth. ah, my boy. i gave him a big hug and congratulated him on officially transitioning into becoming a big kid who was about to get grown-up teeth. mmmmmmyeaaaah. didn't provide much comfort for the little man.

but by the time we got back into the tahoe after our appointment, he was tired of me asking [jovially] if he wanted me to pull it. ;) (mom! stop asking me that! no. i don't need you to pull it.) and then before he buckled his seatbelt, it was out! and we had a party. i told him he could have as much sugar as he wanted -- so that he could make his other teeth fall out and just hurry up and grow. "Mo-om! That will make me too hyper."

and a few nights ago, i must say that my youngest trenkletoebearer has sprouted several teeth without permission from her guardians. she had gotten her molars a few weeks ago, lower, which i knew she was working on. but excuse me? last night a third tooth in the bottom front had cut without my motherly instinct indicating to the fatherly protector that it was henceforth about to erupt thru the surface of our dear sweet girl's gums.

what is this world coming to?

and that's just the update on TEETH around here and i'm out of breath.

well, i shall breathe deeply... (oh, please do it with me... breathe IN .............. breathe OUT..........).

because let everything that has breath Praise the LORD!

we'd not survive this busy season without Him.

i'm so grateful for my babes and my (hunkahunkaburninlove) babe. we are in the midst of so many things! but most importantly of all, in the midst of His love and our intimacy as a family. i'm so grateful.

Happy 4th!

2009-07-03T13:50:00.000-07:00

Turning 3!!!

2009-06-05T10:58:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I caught my two youngest spending some time together in the boys' room. Kev was showing Karsyn his favorite book. I hurried and snapped a few pics, but (as usual) as soon as Karsyn spotted the Mom and zipped over to "help" me lickety split. But I love the silhouetted moment!!!

Kev's been practicing and wanted me to take a picture of how "Gon be Fwee on my Burtday!"

Father and Groom... final thoughts on relationship to Christ.

2009-06-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

FATHER/DAUGHTER
As we realize and accept the truth that we are not just God’s lump of clay, sheep, servant, or even friend, but also God’s very own child, we can experience tremendous healing from childhood wounds and disappointments. We can allow God to be the Father or Mother (He possesses the good qualities of both genders) that we so needed or wanted. We can be free from the burden of trying to perform or produce for Him when we understand that He loves us not for what we do but because we are His daughters. As wonderful and healing as a father/daughter relationship is, the groom/bride relationship promises the most intimate connection of all.

GROOM/BRIDE
Once a woman becomes a bride, the focus of her life and priorities change, and all other people and priorities pale in comparison to her primary love relationship. Again, this metaphor illustrates a much deeper truth—God desires for us to love Him passionately, to find it delightful to simply be in His presence, and to know Him personally both publicly and privately. He longs for our focus and priorities to become aligned with His.

God has always longed for this kind of relationship with His chosen people. He said through the prophet Hosea, “I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord” (2:19-20).

God extends to us an eternal commitment of love, a love so deep, so wide, and so great that we cannot possibly fully understand it. This gift should inspire us to reciprocate with as equal a gift of love as is humanly possible. What started out as an engagement relationship between God and His own in the Garden of Eden will come to fullness at the wedding supper of the Lamb when Jesus Christ returns to claim His bride, the church.

So how can you cultivate a bridal love for Jesus and enjoy this intimate relationship that He longs to have with you? By falling in love with Him and attempting to pursue Him as passionately as He has been pursuing you all along.

Master & Friend

2009-04-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

As I shared on my post from Easter, every spring, I find myself looking back at what the Lord has done in me, thru me, and for me. The relationship we have with Jesus changes as we mature spiritually. When we are first walking with Him, we are the Clay and He is the Potter. And then as a Shepherd, He cares for and leads us as Sheep.

And then... another growth spurt:

MASTER/SERVANT
While sheep stay outside, servants at least live in the same household as the master and talk with him, as long as it is business. The servant enjoys a more intimate relationship. The parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) and the parable of the ten minas (Luke 19:11-27) refer to this level of relationship. However, servants know little of what is happening with the master, other than what they are directly involved with. A servant’s value is derived from how well she can complete the master’s will. While it is important for us to serve God wholeheartedly and do His will, God still longs to have an even greater level of intimacy than this.

FRIEND/FRIEND
A servant’s relationship with her master rests on business and performance, while love and mutual concern form the basis of a friend’s relationship with a friend. Jesus spoke about this deeper level of intimacy that He shared with His disciples when He said, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s [personal] business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). Jesus is saying, “I value you not just because of how you serve me, but because you share my heart.” A friend’s value lies not so much in what she does, but in who she is as a personal confidant.

God wants to be our friend, and He wants us to be His friends. We can experience this friendship level of intimacy. As James 2:23 tells us, “And the scripture was fulfilled that says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,’ and he was called God’s friend.” Also, Proverbs 22:11 says, “[She] who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for [her] friend.”

Yet even as close as two friends can be, blood runs thicker than water.

The next two relationships are the most amazing... tomorrow...

Grandma's Fire - My sister sent pics!

2009-04-21T14:55:00.001-07:00

I don't have the energy to retell the story this minute, but I will
insert the details... just not right now.

He is The Life -- Happy Easter!

2009-04-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

Yay! It's the eve of Resurrection Sunday, Happy Easter -- He is Risen!

We'll be spending the day as a family, making resurrection cookies, planting tulips, playing with sidewalk chalk (no rain, please!) and just, well... rejoicing! The Lord is good to us. We are seeing His creativity, His sovereignty, His provision, His fingerprints in our lives and on our kids' hearts on so many levels. And we're grateful, thankful and even blown away by it all.

My friend Carmen and I both watched a "visual-Bible" DVD with our kids the other day, uh, Thursday. She and her kids watched the Gospel of John and we watched Matthew. She said that she'd come back into the living room after taking care of something and her 4 1/2-year-old daughter (Kennady's little bestie) was crying on the couch as the Crucifixion scene was unfolding. Carmen snatched her up and asked her why she was crying.

"I don't want the Son of God to diiiiiiiiie."

Oh, it just touched my heart! What's awesome is that we get to tell our kids that the Son of God didn't stay dead! We get to tell them that death had no power over Him. Jesus, the Son of God, the LAMB of GOD rose on the third day!

And that's why we celebrate Easter. His death gave us life. And that's a really big deal.

I re-dedicated my life to the Lord in October 2000 and I was washed & renewed in the Umpqua River on Easter Sunday 2001. So every spring, it's like an anniversary celebration for me and I guess I find myself looking back at what the Lord has done in me, thru me, and for me. And I'll tell ya. He is Faithful!

And since I've been thinking on these lately, you'll see below that I've copied and pasted two biblical pictures that we're given in Scripture about how one who gives their heart to the Lord may grow and change in relationship to Him. Check it out... I'll follow-up with the rest in the next few days. Ponder these, if you know the Lord, see if you can identify the Potter/Clay season and the Sheep/Shepherd season in your walk. And if you are someone who has yet to invite Christ to be Potter and Shepherd in your life, hey -- His arms are wide open (on the Cross!) -- He loves you that much! And He didn't "stay dead" -- He rose again, just to prove the Power of His love to you!

POTTER/CLAY
When we first come to Christ, our spiritual life has little shape or form. We submit ourselves to Jesus Christ as our Savior and ask God to begin shaping us into what He wants us to be.

“We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”
Isaiah 64:8, Jeremiah 18:4-6

As a piece of clay, we can allow the Potter to mold us, but we cannot express our love back to Him. When we comply and feel God using us, we feel good about ourselves. When we mess up or don’t have a clear sense of purpose, we feel distant from God. We often withdraw because we believe He is angry with us due to our poor performance.

Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

This affirms that it is important for us to submit to God and allow Him to shape our lives into something that brings Him honor. However, He doesn’t want our relationship to stop there. He wants it to become deeper and more intimate.

SHEPHERD/SHEEP
It may not be flattering to be compared to a sheep, but this metaphor illustrates how well God takes care of His people, just as a shepherd carefully tends his flock. God spoke through the prophet Ezekiel:

“For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places
where they were scattered… They will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign Lord." (34:11-12, 14-15; also see parable of the Good Shepherd in John 10:1-18)

Although sheep know the shepherd’s voice and will follow him, they have no idea what the heart of the shepherd feels for them. Sheep can’t share the shepherd’s dreams and hopes. They are merely concerned with their daily need for food and water. While it is important for us to follow and trust God as our Caretaker and Provider as a sheep follows a shepherd, God longs for us to have a more personal relationship with Him.

Pro-nunc-i-a-tion

2009-04-08T13:55:00.000-07:00

Kev is now an expert little talker. We figured that once he started expressing himself verbally, we'd have a hard time getting him to be quiet.

Lately he's been correcting the older kids with their pronunciation of particular words.
One of which was Karsyn's name.

We had loaded up in the car. Bryson said, "What about Karsy? Is she coming?"
And Kev said, "It's CHawsee, Bysun. D-d-Chawsee, Bysun."

I said, "How do you say it, Kev?"
"Duh Duh Chawsee."

Me and the big kids grinned conspiratorally at his own brand of phonics.
Bryson whispered, "He thinks it's D-d Karsy! But we know it's K-k Karsy, huh, Mom."

I'm really starting to see that we have THREE big kids around. Leaps and bounds, people, leaps and bounds is how they grow.

Sigh.

Ballet Tuesday

2009-04-05T14:46:00.001-07:00

Tuesdays are "Ballet Tuesdays". The kids know that Dad comes home right after lunch and Mom & Kenna zip into town for dance! We allllll look forward to Tuesday afternoons. The boys love having the Dad all to themselves and we girls enjoy our "own" time. Whether we spend it running errands or meeting a friend for coffee afterward, we love being together.

I have enjoyed watching Kennady grow this past year. She is both tentative and outgoing, shy and gregarious, reserved and adventurous. It just depends on the day! She loves dance and I love her class and her teachers. What is so neat about Celebration Street is that they acknowledge the Giver of all gifts. Each class begins with prayer and asking ea student her requests and then they learn skills and technique so that they can then use it as a form of creative worship of the Lord!

Love it.

A Spring Safari

2009-04-05T14:12:00.001-07:00

this is our day at the Safari last friday. it was karsyn's first trip out of her front pack, out of the stroller. dad packed a picnic lunch and we ate at high noon. the sun was high in the sky and the air was crisp. yay, it's spring!

(we know baby's are NOT s'posed to have citrus, but Dad wanted to see if she'd like oranges and INDEED she did, she sucked the juice right out of it!)

her first time sticking her head in the lamb thingy. i told B he had to duck, but he said that this lamb had 2 heads.

gettin' a snuggle in while the big kids played on the play structure.

and bryson's crazy hair was a highlight for all of us, too.

She wants to GO! And DO!

then she fought Kev in a mock fist fight.

she had a good time.

even with mom! (yeah, there's proof that she has a mama, i have a lone photo to document it!) and while Dad was actually enjoying snapping some pics of us, our bigger kids were checking out the pond... and then there was a big SPLASH!

yep, kev fell in head-first as he was reaching into the water for a rock. we were a hop-skip and a jump away.

so that was the end of the Safari. he's been talking about it ever since. i'll post the interview we put on video. when he brings it up now, he recalls that he, "AWMOS DIE. Da'y SAFE. Me."

A Zest for Life

2009-04-04T15:11:00.000-07:00

Life. Life Cereal that is.

all my kids love Life. it was Karsy's turn to try it out, so why not give her a big bowl of Life squares, nice and soft after a few minutes of co-mingling with some creamy whole milk.

my friend had just been there that day and mopped my floor (we call her the kitchen floor fairy, or at least i do, in my mind). i guess that doesn't make putting an infant on the floor with a bowl of cereal anymore logical. but if she was on the table, i couldn't document it as nicely as i could on the floor where there was no fear of her falling. so here we have bebe trying something new. and being a true-blue big kid with her 0wn bowl and everything.

also, i have to mention that her t-shirt was my brother rob's. he wore it in 1983 and all of my babes have worn it. it's a fave.

here she comes! these are what most of my photos of karsyn look like -- her scrambling toward me with her speedy-turbo-crawl.

she is NOT a big fan of baths. she has hated the water her whole life. her whole 9 1/2 months, she's not had one happy cute bubble bath. i did manage to calm her down a bit to at least have a couple pics of her having a sink bath. (if the other kids have sink bath pix, they all must have sink bath pix. or is that just some OCD weirdness in my head?)

she was having fun and then she splashed herself in the face and got angry. we paused a bit.

and then snapped these of her lounging in the sink like she's at the spa.

and her fingers are in her mouth because she was using her pincer grasp to pick up teeny-tiny bubbles and trying to eat them.

Karsyn - 9mos

2009-04-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

Karsy got to get out of her carrier to play like a big kid at the park several days ago! So I snapped her 9-mo portraits while we all played.

The Monster

2009-04-01T00:50:00.000-07:00

Kennady had ballet today and this is what happens after a full day of wearing a ballet bun.

She and I laughed hysterically in the bathroom and conspired together to surprise the guys. We came out of the bathroom and Kev was in the hall and he got totally TOTALLY startled, screamed and ran off to safety. We laughed even harder, her hair was bigger and crazier than in this pic.

Kev said tonight, as I was tucking him in, "Mom, Tenna took monstoh off hor head."

Yes, she had sprayed her hair down and was combing it as she came in to kiss the boys goodnight.

This Kevan kid. He's a keeper.

Safe.

2009-03-31T01:53:00.000-07:00

On Saturday the kids and I were at the table eating lunch. It was "Mommy the Restaurant" that day. Kenna had PBJ, Bryson had cereal and Kev had a sliced hot dog with mustard.

Bryson and Kennady finished first and scurried off to pick up their rooms before nap and I asked Kev to hurry and finish, because well it was naptime and I'd promised them a scoop of ice cream.
Mom - "Better finish your lunch, Kev. Bryson and Kennady finished theirs already and it's time for nap."

Kev - *puppy dog eyes, thumb in mouth* "I can't."

Mom- "Yes you can, you can do all things thru Christ, he makes you strong, you only have 2 bites left, buddy."

Kev - "I caaaan't. Mom... [pause] Chot dods make me die."

Mom - *taking him seriously* "Hot dogs make you die? I see. Are you full then?"

Kev - *nods head, puppy dog eyes still turned on* "Chot dods make. Me. Die. Mom."

Mom - "Well, I guess you don't have room for ice cream?"

Kev - *more nodding* "Ice Keem make. Me. Safe."

HERE'S AN INTERVIEW W/KEV A FEW MINUTES AFTER OUR FIRST "DISCUSSION" ON HIM FINISHING HIS LUNCH:

Smart little man.

the Green Lady

2009-03-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

Kennady sculpted her first "LADY" out of play-doh. She was so proud and asked me to snap a photo of it. So here it is for the world to see, Kbear...

Palace Style

2009-03-25T03:36:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm. Don't these look so balmy and warm! I am really ready for summer. These pics are from February -- snapshots from the night of the Father Daughter dance. I have been staring at these pics for a bit now and I'm just amazed at how fast 5 years can fly by. Kennady is 4 1/2 and she is becoming quite the young lady.

I love watching her with the Dad. (Yes, sometimes we call him "the Dad", I don't know why.) When she's primped and pampered she acts like a little lady. For her, REAL dressing up involves straight hair, painted nails, lip gloss & jewelry. All of the above selected by Kbear herself. Even when Dad told Kennady he loved her hair curly curly curly, she asked for straight straight straight. So, her date had to be patient & wait wait wait. Get used to it, Dad! You have 3 women in this house! And when she's NOT wearing jewelry or sitting perfectly still so the Mom can use the flat iron, she's runnin' with the boys. She is just my go-with-the-flow kinda gal.

I've been thinking about this verse tonight as I study my baby girl who's not my baby girl anymore:

That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth;
That our daughters may be as pillars, Sculptured in palace style;
Psalm 144:12

You know what? It IS our hope that our kids will be rooted and grounded in love. That they will grow up strong & beautiful, individuals who have hearts to receive both Light from the Son and the Water that is the Word of God. That they'll not only live lives built upon the Rock, but also allow Him, the Master Craftsman, to chisel and sculpt their hearts, souls, futures... palace style.

Little Miss Mischief

2009-03-18T23:23:00.000-07:00

I'm telling you! She is one determined little girl! She is my only bebe that crawled up into the lazy susan. Not only is she itty-bitty, she's full of mischief! Silly little thing...

Contrast

2009-03-17T03:26:00.000-07:00

I love the contrast in these pics. Big and little. Dark and light. Boy and girl. Silly and serious.

2009-03-17T03:23:00.000-07:00

Cabin Fever

2009-03-17T03:20:00.000-07:00

Strange things happen when kids are cooped up all day, all winter long... They thought they were so hilarious. And I thought it was funny that it was BRYSON who started this little charade. He's our reserved boy for the most part. A good ol' game of rough and tough hallway football ensued after these pics were taken. (However, no "uniforms" = no sharing of those.) I absolutely cannot WAIT for spring!!! And neither can they. We had a pool party in the kitchen last week. They put their suits on and filled up every bowl from every cupboard with water. Then it "snowed" ice cubes and then there was a "flood." But hey, my floor got mopped. Bonus!

BebeDoll in black & white.

2009-03-17T03:08:00.000-07:00

Teeny BabyDoll!

2009-03-17T03:06:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help it! Karsyn is so tiny. These were taken on Feb 25th, so she was 8 months & a week. And weighing in at about 14 1/2 lbs. I'm telling you, she is so determined, she's going to be one of those teeny tiny babies walking when they do not look like they should be walking. Ahhh, we love her so.

Holding on... And clinging to Jesus

2009-03-06T00:23:00.000-08:00

Dad at Great-Grandma Chastain's funeral

So, it's that day again. That day in the year that makes me all sentimental. For me it's a memorial day. Some years, I'm just out of it. Other years, it's just a day of bittersweetness. I'd say that Bittersweet is my theme for this day after 13 years. 13 years. So weird. Yeah, I lost Dad 13 years ago. That's a really long time.

Uncle Robert, Gramma Marie and Dad.
This is the photo of Dad we used for his funeral program.

I was out in the garage yesterday, sorting through my "Dad" box and found my journal from that year. Wow. I read some of those entries and I am so far removed from that state of mind. So far removed from the person that I was when he died. I was irritated at the self that I was 13 years ago. And I was disappointed in the self that I was 13 years ago.

I guess I could give myself a break. I was a senior in high school who focused on girl stuff. Relationships/friendships/clothes. Blah. I see it all the time in the kids in our high school group -- it's just called youth, I think. I was so concerned with "my" world, that I was blinded to what was going on in the bigger picture, of what was going on with Mom and Dad.

I think that if you asked me, "What was the most important day of your life?" Initially, I might say... when I finally realized I was in love with Bryan... or our wedding day or the day Bryson was just 2 pink lines on a home prego test or when each of my children took their very first breath and then i took them in my arms. Because all of those things are such milestones, such a precious treasure chest of love and joy and excitement and expectation and hope! I loved those days in my life. Each one, kept nice and cozy in my "happy memories" box in my heart, for me to pull out and relive once in awhile.

But I've given it some thought. It was a question for an essay contest that I forgot to enter. And even though I know I won't be entered to win $3,000 for posting it here, I'd like to answer that question.

Do you ever look back and see a clearly defined moment or line or chapter or whatever you wanna call it in your life? I have a few. But the first one was the day that my uncle Wayne, holding me tight against him, by my elbows, whispered in my ear on my front steps, "Kellie. Sweetie. Listen to me. Sweetie, your Daddy died."

Whoah, I'll tell ya, everything that happened that day is soldered into my memory. And of course, everything right before that, too. I can almost speak about it now without breaking down, but my last words to my dad were... words that I wish hadn't been my last.

The last night I talked to him, I had no clue what was going on in the heart of the man that stood before me. I had no empathy or compassion with what he might have been feeling. I just knew what "I" felt. For me, it was black and white, cause and effect. Circumstances were such that he was heading into the "effect" of something he "caused." And if the effect was such-and-such then he deserved it, whatever the consequences were.

He asked me what I thought about him.

Oh, Lord, he asked me what I thought about him. And I gave him the "consequences" shpiel. I was too wrapped up in my own perceived hurt to see what he was really asking: Do you know that I'm struggling? Do you see that I'm hurting? Do you understand that I need your love and comfort?

This little 3x5 card was in Dad's wallet.
I think it's something he wrote down during rehab.
It's on my fridge now.

My 17-yo mind couldn't see past how the "effect" would affect me. I don't often go back to that convo with my dad b/c I have taken it before the Lord so many times -- and I know I'm forgiven. (Let's take a deep breath here, because I know this is not normally the usual tone of my posts.) But, I have to tell you, yesterday, reading through my journal from that time, I wanted to reach through the years and just shake that girl and tell her to wake up. To look around. To look up at her dad and tell him that she doesn't understand, but that she loves him anyway. That's what he needed. I wanted to reach through the years and tell her she should've been writing down the really important stuff, the stuff that matters. And to stop worrying about herself, so she could see beyond herself and her teenage drama.

Dad died March 6th. Out of the blue, shock of a lifetime. It rattled everyone who knew him. It did more than rattle me, it crumbled the hardness of my heart. It shattered the windows to my soul.

I haven't been the same girl inside ever since. On many levels. I am not that girl anymore. She was ignorant and blinded, immature and well, gosh, she was just a kid.

The other clearly defined line in my life was when I rededicated my life to Jesus and was born-again (again). And I know that's when change really came, that life-giving water flooded my soul. It washed the windows, it softened the pieces of my broken heart. And Christ brought healing, and mended my heart in a way only He can do.

I am still ignorant and blinded, I still lack maturity in areas, but I'll never not realize the value of family. The gift of life. The moments that define a relationship. The compassion that comes as a gift from the Lord. Life is short, it's such a cliche, but it is. And tomorrow may not come.

I didn't realize the depth of my parents' life. They had a life! Together! And maybe it sounds strange, but I didn't know that or get that when I was 17. Their life was important and it was what held our little agnostic family together. I guess that's partly the reason I'm passionate about marriage and passionate about our children knowing the depth of Bryan and I's love for each other, passionate about Christ being the center of our marriage. I want them to REALLY know that family is a gift.

Doschades family 1991(ish). I was in junior high.
(I can tell from the poodle perm and the fancy sweater.)

Dad was larger than life. He was kind and funny. He was tender. He was strong. He was manly. He was goofy. He was smart and gregarious. He unashamedly adored his wife and was incredibly proud of his kids. He made time to visit with strangers, so he could call them friends. He had a listening ear and a hearty laugh. He worked hard and he loved much. He "didn't come here to have no bad time."

Mom & Dad, 1994(ish). I love that turquoise shirt.
Mom gave it to me. Bryan & I both wear it.
I love this photo. It's my favorite.

He was a great Dad and a good man. And in his absence, Another has picked up where he left off. I know some women may struggle with seeing God as God the Father, as God her Father, because of the humanity and failure of their own dads to fulfill his role like he should. But my dad was a strong father, who raised a strong daughter and made it easy for me to allow God to move from "way out there" to Father in here, in my heart. And I'm grateful.

I wouldn't be where I am today, who I am today without him and without Him.

So, I often whisper to Jesus, on days that are extraordinarily sentimental, like this one... "Tell Dad I miss him... tell Dad I love him... tell Dad I still need him..." And I hold on. I hold on to my husband and my babes, and I hold on to my family back home. I hold on to my memories of a tender, loving Dad and all that he taught me about character, integrity, love... through his life and through his death. And I cling to Jesus.

Thank you, Lord, for your ways. I don't understand the why's sometimes. But I can look back at the road you've walked with me, seeing some of the crossroads, seeing the signs and directions and it gives me hope. You have a plan, you give me hope. And I have a future in You. You are so good to me. Thank you for Dad. I needed him. And thank you for Your Son, I needed Him, too. Be with my fam, I know they're missin' Dad, too. Continue giving us glimmers of "Rob" in those we love and in the friends we meet? That's how these grandkids of his can catch a glimpse of who he was.

I love you, Jesus. I do.

Thank you, God, for your faithfulness...

Kennady holding a photo of Uncle Kev (left) and Dad.
We think Karsyn has Grampa's ears!!! Cute, huh!

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;

A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Today it was time to remember.

Still missin' you, Dad.
--Rocket

(More March 6th ponderings... 2008, 2007)

SuperKennabear

2009-03-02T22:18:00.001-08:00

big THANKS for the capes, gramma Judy!
bryson's best buddy caleb's gramma (Judy Kelley) makes these and gave some to our kids just for fun. you can buy your own here: addylynndesigns.com or here.

kennady was up for some demonstration-slash-modeling tonight.
Judy asked the kids what colors/symbols they wanted... the black with pink K was Kennabear's choice.
pretty shweet!

custom superhero capes... hmmmm.
i wonder if putting one on would endow superhero powers on big people.
uh, judy... i think i'll order black with a teal/aqua K on mine. with rhinestones.

bebeK... 8 months old

2009-02-19T21:02:00.000-08:00

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2

Karsyn's nifty trick!

2009-02-15T17:48:00.001-08:00

We discovered Karsyn was super strong when she was about 3 mos old,
(well really since conception, but that's another story). She would
bear her own weight on her legs and bounce bounce bounce bounce until
WE got tired. And she would make her legs so rigid that one day she
stood in the palm of my hand and balanced there for a split second.

So of course, Bryan had to one-up-me. And there she stood, on his
palm for a full 5 seconds! At 4 mos old! Now that's basically still
a brand new baby, just out of her fourth trimester. We were in awe.
And, I never did capture a snapshot of it, only video, and so
finally on Super Bowl Sunday I dragged Bry away from the game for a
split second b/c the sun was in a perfect position for a fun, warm
backlit shot, but I only had one try -- cuz you know the game was
on!!!-- and it was a bit blurry, i wasn't quick enough.

Today! Today I had my camera with me in town and we had a few minutes in the parking lot so I got several before she decides to retire this trick in favor of something bigger and better as a toddler.

This girl is a determined one. She is always ravenous, but never
gains a pound. Last weigh-in she was in the 0-th percentile. HA!
But she's a crazy fast crawler and constantly wanting to be in charge
of the scene here at the Trenkle house. I really don't want her to
walk, but "ain't nobody gonna slow her down, oh no, she's gotta keep
on mooooovin'..."

sigh.

She's earned the nickname of Nugget. Cuz she's so tiny. And Daddy
calls her Midget, cuz she's just a little shweetiepie. And bossy. She's
definitely vocal about HER needs.

What a joy she is. So glad we have four Trenkle kids, there's alot of
love to go around. Y'all need to come over and join in the fun of it!

By Your Side

2009-02-14T10:54:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've felt passionate about something enough to make the time to write. I am so humbled by the love and grace and mercy of God. He is so much bigger than our circumstances.

Mercy is not getting what I deserve.
Grace is giving me what I don't deserve.

That is my God.
I hear this song and it brings me to tears EVERY time.
My Jesus loves me, and will never forsake me.
And it's the same for you.

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

Tenth Avenue North

He is by your side.
The lover of my soul.
And yours.
Let Him love you.

Happy Valentines Day.

I love you, Babe.

2009-02-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

hey, Babe. so... it's been nine years since our first Valentines Day. remember how i declared my love for you with a jcrew sweatshirt? (you never did wear that, but it's okay. it went to a good home.)

aw, you and i both know it wasn't just a jcrew sweatshirt. but rather the little store-bought card that said "You are Everything that I Love" that shocked you right out of your britches.

life's full of surprises when you marry a doschades girl.
and here we are nine years later. 2 career changes later. 4 kids later.

i'll always be glad i married my friend.
you never stop wanting to grow. you never stop submitting yourself to God.
i love that.

but it's not always easy.
it's not always sunshine and roses.
it's not always easy to love you. it's not always easy for you to love me. (ha!)
but we do it.
we do life.
and we do it together.
when it's easy and when it's hard.
when it's rough and when it's smooth.
you make me better. i make you stronger.
we are One.

thank you for believing in me. thank you for supporting my dreams. thank you for your respect and honor and for the way you cherish me.

i consider it my greatest privilege to hold your hand, by your side, as your wife, lover, friend. you really are... everything that i love.

and i could not ask for more.
happy valentines, bry.
i love you.

--kell

I love you, Bryson!

2009-02-14T09:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines, little man.

I love you, Kennabear!

2009-02-14T08:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines, my crazy little girl.

I love you, Kevan!

2009-02-14T08:58:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day, sweet boy.

I love you, Karsyn!

2009-02-14T08:57:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines, little nugget.
(Stop trying to grow up so fast! May God bless your determination, sweet girl!)

Silly Kids

2009-02-14T08:56:00.000-08:00

Just goofing around... love these moments. LOL.

Karsyn & her Krispies

2009-02-14T08:45:00.000-08:00

she didn't want to play

2009-02-04T15:30:00.000-08:00

karsy didn't want to play with mommy today. she wanted her baby (the cow) and she wanted her cave (her bed w/only the blue blankie, the cozy pink blankie to cover her and a sheet draped over for complete privacy and the fan on for comforting white noise).

so, i'll have to see if she'll play with mommy later. i wonder if she thinks the big black thing is a growth coming out of the front of my face...

i just don't want to miss a thing. and if i take a picture, i know i'll remember.

my babes.

2009-02-04T15:10:00.000-08:00

everyone was so excited for karsyn this morning.
the kids call her "Karsy."
"karsy's eating krispies, karsy's eating krispies, karsy's eating krispies!"
we had to take a snapshot to celebrate the day the pincer grasp has been recognized.

this girl thinks she is seriously 2 1/2 years old already. she wants to do it all by herself. she's little miss hot stuff, i'll find her standing in her crib waiting for me to pluck her up and out. she'll crawl from room to room if the other kids are down for a nap, just to supervise their rest. she wants to eat cheese and spinach and chicken, bananas, rice cereal, whole peas. but offer her mashed baby food, um no. that would be a NO Thank You. offer her a sippy cup or a (heaven forbid) bottle (with some foreign silicone nipple) of formula to drink just to wash the steak and potatoes, sauteed mushrooms and onions down, um no. THAT would be a NO Than You. but she'll gladly drink from a big kid cup with ice water.

bebeK is in a hurry to be big.

soft, sweet girl...

2009-02-02T21:21:00.000-08:00

karsyn is 7mos now... i have so much to share and one of these days will be a dedicated "catch-up-on-the blog" day.

a boy & the Daddy he adores.

2009-01-25T20:59:00.000-08:00

bryson drew this picture the other night. it's the first picture he's drawn of his dad and himself. (i have a collection of love notes... i've got to snap a photo of them!) the picture brought me to tears with just that mama-bear-pride. he's a sweet boy, a great kid, a joy to call mine. i just had to frame it up for his office. he even drew daddy's new beard!

Definitely a Trenkle.

2009-01-01T18:25:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-30T22:22:00.000-08:00

Ballerina Kennabear...

2008-12-12T18:41:00.000-08:00

Here is a clip from Kennady's first public performance with her four-year-old ballet class. Her teacher posted this video from last Saturday's Festival of Trees Family Day.

**tummy flip**

1,000 Words

2008-10-21T23:44:00.000-07:00

to me this photo says, well, lots of things, i don't even want to get started on that. (too much!) i just wanted to put this up real quick and say that i miss being on trenkletoes, sharing our adventures. (i can't believe it's been a month!) but we've been pretty busy out there living them, that i can't even sit and write about 'em. so, soon, very soon, i will be back with some tales of these tippy toes... maybe with a sentence or two, but i promise there'll be several different "thousand word" glimpses into what we've been up to.

yeaaaaaaaaaaaah... God is good.
**tummy flip**

"The eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you."
Psalm 33:18-22

Karsyn, 3mos old!!!

2008-09-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

Karsyn, 3mos old!!!

2008-09-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

Kennady & Karsyn (3mos old!!!)

2008-09-18T17:05:00.000-07:00

Karsyn, 3mos old!!!

2008-09-18T17:01:00.000-07:00

what do you see?

2008-09-17T11:18:00.000-07:00

If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. John 15:10-12

My girlfriend, Amy, over at Meanwhile Back at the Ranch posted an illustration you need to see and a post you HAVE to read about her and her sister. (I love them both!) After seeing her post, I wanted to upload this illustration, too. I had such an emotional response to these renderings of Jesus in action (total tummy flip). Both are so emotive... affective... poignant... so... real.

When I look at this, I see:
PURE. JOY.

And that's really what I find in Him.
What do you see in this illustration?

true fashion

2008-09-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

I am learning a few things about style from my daughter:

1-Always give clothing the twirl test. If it twirls, then clearly it's made beautifully and definitely worth wearing.

2-Always dress for several occasions all at once. You never know when you'll simultaneously need to twirl, run really fast, hide in pink bushes from the neon police, be prepared to meet the queen (wearing a couple pseudo-boas and the oh-so-affordable faux satin) in the rain, not to mention ride in on your stick horse in high style.

3-One layer is never enough.

4-This may seem redundant, but honestly, one can never have too many layers, especially in the summer months with temperatures averaging 90 degrees.

5-Always wear what makes YOU feel beautiful.

(please note:
there's also a fancy polka-dot dress
underneath the lovely neon long-sleeve jammie gown;
this outfit best suited for bicycle riding thru the neighborhood)

My cheeks hurt from smiling the whole time I'm uploading these photos. She is so funny. She just walked in here... (library/quiet time is over and it's time to make lunch together), and she sees these photos up on the screen...

"Oh! (high pitched exclamation) Now that's a cute outfit, Mom. Yes, I do like that black shirt. (pause) Can I wear that black shirt, Mom? And those black pants, where do we find some of those?"

LOL. I'm sure the black top and bottom she's looking for as I finish this up will beautifully complement the apparel she's wearing right this moment: the pink-on-pink track jacket (seen above), her favorite green twirly dress (also pictured above... and mentionably totally vintage Wendy Doschades couture -- that's my mama -- custom made for me 26 years ago), and a pair of yellow long underwear style pajama bottoms.

If you need style advice, refer to Kennady's top 5 tips. (Here's another tip: you can never go wrong when you "put on Christ." Romans 13:14)

Backwards

2008-09-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

My little man Kev is so funny.
This is his favorite hat.

And I don't think he's ever worn it with the bill facing forward.

And actually this is how he wears every hat. Whether it's a stocking cap or a ball cap, if it can go on backwards, that's how he wears it. We were in the front yard the other day and this is Kev, getting ready to take off in his Little Tikes mini-van...

Even the bike helmet goes on backwards. He's so funny!

My green eyed little man.
**tummy flop**

My man.

2008-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

This is my man.
And this is one of my favorite pics of my man.

It was taken March '07 when we had our first hint of spring. We Trenkles (Party of 5 at the time) were all playing in the backyard. Kev was in a walker to keep all 9mos of him out of trouble. Kennady was off sucking her thumb in the shadows. Bryson was batting. You were pitching. That's why you look all tough in this photo in your sexy ball cap. Yeah, I digg that ball cap. And I really digg how you love to play with our babes. You are SUCH a good dad!

Hey, Babe.
Just wanted you to know:

You are an amazing husband.
You walk in integrity, you love Jesus passionately.
You are funny and smart.
You are logical and wise.
You are my best friend.
You are my love.
I am so glad I get to "do" life as your wife.
Thank you for doing your best to understand me.
Thank you for listening while I talk.
Thank you for talking so I can listen.
I love your sunflower eyes.
I trust you. I respect you.
I appreciate you.

Thank you for
providing this home
and this family,
thru God,
for me.

I am in awe of His goodness toward me.
Happy Birthday, Schwann, Happy Birthday.

I am yours and you are mine.
Beloveds.

Goals

2008-09-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning my kids and I took a walk right after breakfast. The big kids rode the big kid bikes, Kevan sat in the stroller, with me pushing all 32 lbs of him and little miss Karsyn in the Bjorn front-pack. It was perfect set-up and a gorgeous day.

Sometimes my tummy does flip-flops when I look at my babes. I just love 'em so much. And Bryson was in the lead, Kennady trailing behind and my tummy did one of those flops of overflowing love/joy/gratitude and I just felt the Lord whisper to me, "Pray for them." (Especially after I'd read a few posts from Summer and Bethany the other day, I felt really encouraged to spend MORE purposeful time doing that. I am always begging the Lord for His help and wisdom and strength to be consistent in my parenting, to be discerning, to know how to shepherd their hearts instead of just trying to change their behaviors. But I want to be more of a prayer warrior FOR my kids AS I'm simultaneously asking the Lord to help me in my mothering of them.)

One of the things I pray over Bryson is that he will be a Leader for his brother and sisters. Also that he would love the Lord with all of his heart and mind and soul and strength. That he would be a boy who wants to serve others cheerfully, that he would be an encourager for his siblings. A friend of mine has been telling this to her oldest son who is now in high school... "Be the Leader for your generation. Follow Christ. Be the example." And when she shared that, it was like Yesssss. I will build my son up in that way, speaking that wisdom into his life. And he loves to be reminded that he's the Leader and his heart breaks over his sin when he stumbles into disobedience. His heart is tender toward the things of the Lord.

I have had the same prayer for Kennady since she was just an infant... that she would know the love of the Perfect Father. That she would embrace His gift of Life and that she would use her giftings (whatever they may be) to glorify Him and bless everyone around her.

I have nothing but a bunch of praisin' for Jesus when I pray for my baby kitten... Karsyn has come out of her little fussy phase. She sleeps through the night. She naps four or five times during the day. She's cooing and smiling... until she's through with that and then she wants to sleep again. RIGHT NOW, Mama!

I pray that Karsyn continues to grow up healthy and strong and that she, too, would know the love of the Perfect Father.

I love my little man, Kev. He is so sweet and funny and just a character. I've been praying that he would continue to grow strong, that he would respond to correction with a repentant heart, that he would be a hard worker with a cheerful heart. And that his vocabulary would grow! LOL...

As we were walking, I just talked his little ears off about what I was seeing and what he was seeing and pointing to. He's getting better at mimicking. But he really is a one-word-kinda-guy. ("Dude" is his response in most conversations with him and that single word summarizes entire events at times. Although, I have to give him kudos for adding two add'l monosyllabic words to his English: YUP and NOPE. Right on, Kev, right on!)

Anyway, as we walked, I asked him, "Kevan, what do you want to be when you grow up?" And he shouted, [in his usual conversational tone of 10,000 decibals] "DOH!" Which is Kev-speak for DOG. So yeah, everyone's gotta have goals and that's Kev's. He wants to be a canine.

**Huge Grin and a Tummy Flop here**

Thank you, Jesus, for my sweet children. I love that you picked me to be the mom of them! I pray you would continue to prompt me to intercede for their hearts and souls more and more and more and more! Thank You that You hold them in your righteous right hand. May we always seek to usher them into Your arms, that they would see their need for You and Your mercy and Your grace and Your unfailing love. Help us to train them up in the way they should go... give us eyes to see exactly how You've fashioned them, so that we can encourage them in their giftings and strengths. Help us to be consistent in our parenting and yet mindful of each one's individuality. We need You to direct our path. (Especially if one wants to grow up and live in a kennel!)

"Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 Amplified Bible

Being a Mom

2008-09-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

I was visiting The McCourtneys blog this afternoon for some encouragement, which I get in daily doses from my friend Summer - mommy of 6 and wife of a pastor. (Stop by there if you get a chance!)

Anyway, a blogger named "Bethany" comments on Summer's blog frequently, so I clicked over to her blog to "meet" her and I really loved being there.

This is a post Bethany had written in response to her previous post confessing that she always felt like a failure as a mom/wife/homemaker.

THE LAND OF CURLY HAIR: SUCCESS - MY ANSWERS

I really liked how Bethany answered her own question of what defines Success for the Wife who is also Mom who is also Home Manager. I find myself feeling inadequate at times, too... there is so much to be done around my home... Spiritually, Emotionally, Physically that I find myself getting discouraged, too! Her post was a great encouragement to me. Go on over and "meet" her, I think you'll like her, too!

gramma's coming!

2008-09-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

Grandchildren are the pride and joy,
the crowning glory of the aged...
Proverbs 17:6a

woo-hoo! my gramma marie is coming. she's spending the first week of october with us! and seriously every time she's come out here (except the year we were married), we've had a new baby for her to hold. this year she gets to smooch on Baby Karsyn!

everywhere

2008-09-10T00:02:00.000-07:00

Bryson and I went to our first RHS game last night... JV Soccer. 2 of our youth group guys are on the team. It was fun to snap a few pics of the action and I (of course) had to photograph the feet that brought on all the action.

Nice feet, boys. Use 'em to take the gospel everywhere you go... even on the soccer field.

The Family Walk

2008-09-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

3 Quotes (real quick)

2008-09-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

"Yup." -Kevan (2)

"I'm not gon' grow up yet. I'm still small. I'm only human, Mom, I'm only human." -Kennady (4)

"Why does Kennady have to wear a ballet bun, Mom? What's a ballet bun, is that just like a hot dog bun?" -Bryson (5)

Homemade Oreos - Recipe!

2008-09-07T17:52:00.000-07:00

Ingredients

2 (18 ounce) boxes devil's food cake mix
4 eggsbeaten well
2/3 cup oil

1/2 cup butter
4 ounces cream cheese
2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Directions

Cookies:

Mix cake mix, eggs and oil together well.

Shape into marble size balls. Flatten with the bottom of a glass.

Bake at 350°F for 10 minutes. They are done when the tops looked cracked.

I left the cookies on the cookie sheet for about 4 minutes and slipped them off to a cooling rack. They were soft and chewy.

Filling:

Mix butter, cream cheese, icing sugar and vanilla together.

When cookies are completely cooled, frost the flat side of one cookie and then sandwich with another cookie.

Store in refrigerator. They are perfect for the freezer, too. They are best thawed at room temperature. (I got impatient for that chewy texture and nuked 'em for 9 seconds and the filling oozed out! Definitely edible still, but so yummy when the filling has that stiffer consistency.)

One. Big. Bug.

2008-09-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this is a locust or what, but this is one HUGE grasshopper. It's like completely desiccated and the kids were absolutely in awe. All 3 of them wanted to hold it and check it out. I'm not afraid of it. It's dead.

My kids help me not be scared to hold creepy crawly things because they're soooo fascinated by stuff, that it's exciting to find a jumbo dead bug in our backyard. We find snakes sometimes, too! Yech!

Even Kev had to hold it. This photo taken right BEFORE he took it and tore it in half, threw it on the ground and ran inside to catch up with K and B. I think they were after his homemade oreo, which made him lightning fast.

Thank you, Lord, for these babes who remind me to praise you for all creation and the wonder of it all!

Swim Day

2008-09-07T14:31:00.000-07:00

Aunt Yvonne invited us to swim last week. It was our first dip in a big pool this summer. My two oldest never did jump in the water with their life jackets on, but they did get on the adult lounge floaty thingies and paddle around on an inflated "slobter" (lobster). Kev was content playing with the "new" toys in the Webers' Trenkle-Kids-Toy-Basket and dipping his feet in the water. He did end up floating on the lounger with Mama. It was so nice to relax. And little Miss Karsyn stayed home with Dad. How bout that! Good-bye summer.... sigh, it's September.

Peas Please

2008-09-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

If this needs an explanation, you probably don't know us very well. This bag of frozen peas brought us much comfort.

Anna's HERE!

2008-09-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

I can't help it. I am such a proud auntie. Aunt Amy went to see the Mama and the babe this morning. I can't even go meet Miss Anna myself until tonight. But isn't she cute! She's like such a mixture of the two of them, but the first one I saw in her was Daddy Will. I absolutely cannot wait to hold her and kiss her and smell her. LOL. That fresh-out sweet little newborn smell.

Psalm 139 13:-17
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

whatsamatterbaby?

2008-09-04T14:51:00.000-07:00

Truth

2008-09-04T14:07:00.000-07:00

I just put the kids down for their quiet time/naptime. We spent a couple hours at the farm today with some friends. Kids had a ton of fun. I asked all 3 babes to wash face/hands and get in bed. Done deal. When I was tucking Bryson in, I asked him if he washed his hands. He shook his head yes. I said, "Are you telling Mama the truth?" And he said, "Yes, mom." And offered up his hands for me to smell.

Indeed. They were clean and freshly minty.

"Mom, what's truth?"
"Remember that Bible verse from your book, about God's little boy being "Truthful" and the verse says, 'Don't use your mouth to tell a lie?'"
"Yeah."
"That's what truth is. The truth is telling what is real, what really happened."
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"What's in truth? What's IN truth?"
"Jesus."

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6

Birthday OREOS!!!

2008-09-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

This year Kennabear got to eat Chocolate Chip Pancakes and Homemade Oreos on her birthday, instead of cake. Lots of sugar for my sweet girl. Mmmmmmmmmm these oreos are goooooooo-oooood.

Birthday Jewelry

2008-09-04T00:47:00.000-07:00

Kennabear is 4!!!

2008-09-03T23:46:00.000-07:00

Today's my sweet girl's birthday. (Maybe that's why I've felt so empathetic with Krystal all day. I labored today, too, only it was four years ago. And Krystal was there! She watched my first baby girl be born.) ANYWAY, today's my sweet Kennady's FOURTH birthday.

Kennady, here are four things I ADORE about you:

Your smile makes you absolutely, irresistably, kissably, radiantly beautiful and just lights up your whole face and brightens up my little mommy world.

You are such a good helper with a heart to serve. I love your sweet spirit. "Mommy, can I make wif you?" "Mommy, can I hold Karsyn?" "Mommy, can I wash the dishes in the sink?" "Mommy, will you cheer for me?" "Mommy, do you want to twirl wif me?" "Mommy, I love your sweet face." "Daddy, how was your day, Dad?" "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii, sweet Karsyn, did you wake uuuuuuuuuup?" "Bryson, do you want to dance with me?" "Awwww, are you okay, Bubba, I mean Kevan?" "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control! For my fumb!!!!!" You are.... (tears now) such a JOY to me.

Your heart of worship. You love talking about Jesus, singing about Jesus, asking about Jesus. You remind me how near the Lord is because of your childlike faith and your unashamed praises for the King.

The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. Psalm 45:11

Your eagerness to learn. Your tenderheartedness toward others. Your sensitive heart. Your willingness to please -- you honor and obey Mommy and Daddy with such a cheerful heart, yes, most of the time, and a soft heart of repentance when you don't.

You really are our princess and the Lord's. You are a daughter of the King and He, too, is captivated by your beauty. Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl! And yes, next you will be turning "5 and 6 and 7!"

Thank you, Jesus, that I am priviliged to see Your hand in my daughter's life... thank you for sharing her with me. She is a blessing to this family. May Your glory continue to shine brightly in those big amber-colored eyes.

Laboring

2008-09-03T22:56:00.000-07:00

My lovely amiga Krystal is laboring as I write this. She's been in the hospital now for 29 hours. TWENTY-NINE HOURS. That's a long time. And ohhhhhhhhh, she is such a sweet, dear friend, expecting her first baby -- a sweet baby girl they're naming Anna. But sweet Baby Girl Anna is NOT in a hurry to come out and meet Mama face to face.

I have been anticipating The Call all day. We got the "in the hospital" text last night and I've talked to both of her parents and her husband. (Sheesh, I'm totally a stalker!)

But The Call has not come. And tonight at 9 she was going to try to sleep for a couple hours while an epidural took the edge off some major back labor. I just ache FOR her! Laboring is such hard work. I just want Anna to come out!

And so tonight as I was thinking about Krystal and praying for strength and endurance for her, this is one of the verses that came to mind.

1 Corinthians 15:10 (New King James Version)

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.

I say Amen to that! She's laboring FOREVER! And that's just me being impatient. LOL. She's laboring more abundantly than she had hoped, I'm sure, but you know what... I know my friend well enough to know that when Anna is laid on her chest for the first time, Krystal will be saying... "God's grace toward me was not in vain, the grace of God was WITH me." Holy Spirit, fill that hospital room with your presence and BREATHE a new strength, a new endurance, and ultimately a NEW LIFE into that room!

Can't wait to meet the Irwins -- Family of Three!

"Mommy, what's in ____________?"

2008-08-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

Tonight Bryson is up past bedtime. We've been doing school while the other kids nap, since he is no longer sleeping during naptimes. But today he actually slept because we'd had a fun day at Aunt Yvonne's playing in the pool, so he was pretty tired. So rather than go back and forth to the boys' room because he explains to us that he's "having difficulty falling asleep and that he wants us to pray over him again (and again and again and again and again)," I decided to allow him to do some schoolwork... and I'll tell ya he's especially eager to hang with the grown-ups while the "little kids" are asleep, so he's thrilled to practice his letters.

Anyway, I love the one-on-one time with him. He's fun to be with. He plays and works well by himself. He focuses and concentrates excellently when he's on his own. He is super bright (I know, I'm totally his mom, so I'm totally biased) and he is super inquisitive. I love it!

He's always asking me what things are made of and how they are made and I LOVE IT! He thinks exactly like I do. I always wanna know the why's and how's behind how things work, how things are made, what the dentist is doing exactly when I'm hearing all that drilling and smelling all that smoke, you know that kind of thing.

Tonight, Bryson is by my side as I work on my to-do list for the coming week and he's working on his handwriting and connecting the dots and mostly sharpening pencils. He LOVES using the little pencil sharpener (got 'em 6/$1.00 at Dollar Tree, he and I were both THRILLED!).

And he asks me, "Mommy what are markers?" Ink. Strong Ink.
"Mommy what's in pens?" Ink.
"Mommy what's in pencils?" Graphite. "Graphite?" Yes.
"Mommy what's in crayons?" Wax. And color.

And I had a flashback of one of my favorite snippets of Sesame Street. I used to love watching how an orange crayon was born at the Crayola factory. So I thought to myself, "Find it on Youtube." And I tried a couple searches and found it!!!!! I was so excited (jumping up and down inside, you know, that kind of thrill you get when you can't wait to see your child's reaction to something really cool...)!

We watched it a few minutes ago and he thought it was "awesome, let's watch it again..."

So I had to share it here, too. Tell me you remember this and loved it, too!

You gotta meet Viv

2008-08-29T00:24:00.000-07:00

This is my bestie from back in the hood, from back in the day. We've been friends for 25 years. I am soooooo laughing out loud, really loud. That is something pretty special when you can say you've been friends for a quarter of a century. Crazy. I love this girl. She inspires me. She encourages me. She can talk me down and build me up. Spend a moment (or many) over at her blog. You'll be refreshed because Magic Can Happen in a Moment.

Loveya, Vivi!

Praiseworthy?

2008-08-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:8-9

My mom gave me some wisdom a couple years ago when we were talking about communicating with our spouses. She had watched a bible study on one of those evangelical programs and the teacher was preaching about words and how we use them. We would be wise to ask ourselves 3 questions before we speak:

Is it kind?

Is it true?

Is it necessary?

And if we cannot say yes to ALL THREE, then it's best not to speak. Thanks, Mama, for sharing that nugget of wisdom with me. It's kept my mouth closed many many times. (Sigh.) See below for an e-devotion that a friend forwarded me last year.

Every Careless Word
5/29/2007
"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak,they will give account of it in the day of judgment." MATTHEW 12:36
Jesus spoke plainly about our idle words, yet His warning often goes unheeded. Jesus said that for every idle word there will be a time of accounting in the day of judgment. We would expect Jesus to condemn profane and vile uses of the tongue, but idle words? Idle words are things we say carelessly, without concern for their impact on others. We too quickly assume that the sins of our tongue are minor sins, sins that God will overlook. Yet Jesus was fully aware of the devastating nature of our words, for the idle words that come from our mouths give a lucid picture of the condition of our heart (Matt. 15:17-20).
The Book of Proverbs encourages us to speak less rather than risk saying something offensive (Prov. 17:28). Often when we have nothing significant to say we are tempted to speak injurious, idle words. The more time we spend in idle chatter, the greater the likelihood that we will say things that are harmful. James cautioned believers to be "swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1:19). We are in much less danger of saying something offensive when we are listening than when we are speaking!
Think carefully about the words that come from your mouth. We should speak only words that uplift and bring grace to others (Eph. 4:29). Do you need to speak less? Do you need to be more careful about the kind of humor you use? Ask the Holy Spirit to help you evaluate whether your words build up others or whether they destroy and hurt others.

Wow... apparently this is my focus for the week. Things keep coming to mind and I'm so encouraged to press on.

Pray Vigilantly. Speak Graciously.

2008-08-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

“Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving; meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains, that I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak.

Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”

Col 4:2-6 NKJV

“Be courageously persistent” or “hold fast and not let go” in persistent prayer… staying awake, alert for specific needs about which to pray. NLT says: Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.

Live wisely among those who are not Christians, and make the most of every opportunity to share Christ. Speak what is spiritual, wholesome, fitting, kind, sensitive, purposeful, complimentary, gentle, truthful, loving and thoughtful.

Just as salt not only flavors, but prevents corruption or decay, as it acts as a preservative, our speech should act not only as a blessing to others, but as a purifying influence within the decaying society of the world.

-- Macarthur Study Bible

I’ll tell you what, I am praying this morning! I shouldn’t be surprised when the enemy tries to lie his way into our minds, especially with such a bold-faced nasty lie first thing in the morning. I shouldn’t be surprised that Satan is showing up. God has begun a new work in us and so of course the enemy shows up to try to trip us up right out of the gate. Please continue to pray for us!

Yesterday Bryan shared with me how the Lord answered one of our prayers. We had asked the Lord to “PLEASE!!!!” give us each the gift of discernment as we minister to each of our kids in the youth group. So often we get a call of distress or a text of confessing a particular sin and it’s our prayer that we will see the root of the problem so that we can offer more than a bandaid. We want to be able to pray effectively for that young person, but also encourage them in a practical way by helping them see the real root of the issue. We wanna know what to say!

And the Lord said to us… “Pray. Pray with an alert mind and with a thankful heart. God will open the door, He’ll provide the opportunity, He’ll provide the Word and show us what we ought to speak.” He said to us, “Walk in that wisdom among your little flock, especially with those who are struggling, especially with those who are on the fence, especially with those who are on the other side of the fence dabbling with compromise. And speak what is spiritual, wholesome, purposeful, truthful. Be salty for these kids, walk in wisdom, and you’ll know how to answer each one.”

Thank you, Lord, for being so specific! I loved what the Macarthur Study Bible said about speech. Gracious speech is a topic we consistently talk about in this home. So I’m going to be putting these passages up in my bathroom for Bryan and me to see each time we brush our teeth. I’m going to teach my kids about salt. I’m going to train myself to speak only what edifies the listener! So we can always seek to be a blessing to others, not only by how we live, but by what we say.

Eph 4:29 has always been one of my getting’ thru daily life kind of verses and it confirms what the Lord’s been showing us in Colossians:

29Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it. Amplified Bible.

God says to me this morning, "Speak what is spiritual, wholesome, fitting, kind, sensitive, purposeful, complimentary, gentle, truthful, loving and thoughtful."

And I say, Lord, strengthen me for the day ahead. Help me to see the needs of my kiddos and meet them lovingly and patiently. Help me to be a wife and mommy who builds up her husband and children. I need your Spirit today, God, fill me afresh so I can pour out grace and mercy on my family and be an encourager for my husband.

Confession Session

2008-08-26T23:44:00.000-07:00

Bryan and I have been having some good talks lately. We’ve been digging deep and getting a lot of things off our hearts. (Does your communication with your spouse ebb & flow like ours does?)

Anyway, we have been on our knees confessing our inadequacies and our tendencies toward self-sufficiency. Aaaaghhh. We are both such DIY people and once again we’ve found ourselves beyond the steps the Lord’s laid out for us and we’re shoutin’ over our shoulders, “Come on Jesus, catch up and help us!” (Do you ever get into that mess?) Like I mentioned in a previous post… we are trying to get back to the heart of what’s really important to us, back to a healthy, spiritually nourishing and emotionally nurturing family routine.

We’ve been asking Jesus for His wisdom. And His strength to simply LISTEN to His Voice and then obey. We need His wisdom for training up our babes and for gearing up for homeschooling. We need His wisdom on how to teach our high school kids and His direction in planning for the school year (teaching/serving/fund-raising/fun activities, etc). I need His wisdom for managing the home front more effectively… meal planning, living frugally, being a good steward of my time.

And THEN… THEN we need hearts of humility to die to self. Cuz once the flesh is dead, then the spirit can joyfully obey. Oh, don’t you wish that one day you could just die to self and that the nasty ol’ self-centered, selfish part of you would just be put down, for good. And so the next day and the next and the next, you’d be free! I do… But it doesn’t work that way. (That’s how God draws me to Himself. He desires relationship. He wants to relate and interact with me and I need His strength and His fellowship to put off the old girl that keeps trying to overtake my spirit. It’s a moment by moment struggle for me. I’m thinking that if He fixed me once and for all, I’m such a DIY-er that I’d tend to be like shooop, gone, thanks Jesus, seeya in Heaven. But for whatever reason, God wants to hang out with me, kickin’ it with Kell. And for goodness’ sake with YOU, too! Amazing.)

Anyway. So we’re pleading with God to grant us repentance! And we’re both crying out, “Help me to die to self!” That’s what we talked about Sunday, me and my man. One of the passages of the Word we are clinging to and praying over each other these days is from Colossians 3…

8But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice,
blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him…

12Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

I wrote Bryan a letter last weekend after I spent a considerable amount of time with the Lord confessing a bunch of junk that’s been going on in my heart. I just have had junk in my heart and it was cluttering up my spirit and affecting the way I related to Bryan. Grrrrrr. I was so frustrated with myself.

You know, I love how we can just go before the Lord and lay it all out… and He listens. I love how I can tell Him EVERYTHING and even include my rationalizations and justifications… and He listens.

Then it’s my turn to listen. He shows me such mercy. I love how patient the Lord is with me. Oh… I love it, it’s my favorite thing about Him right now.

So I got all that cleared off my chest and out of my mouth (out of the mouth the heart speaks… the heart is the wellspring of life… confess your sins and He is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness… you know all that good stuff) and then the Lord has some air time in which to speak to me, now that the junk’s all exposed. He reminded me (gently) that I had encouraged another wife to read Colossians and pray that over her marriage and to die to self die to self die to self die to self. Oh yeahhhhhh, well now, I’ll be eating a huge slice of humble pie. Why don’t you just give it to me straight, Lord? (He does.)

And I’ll tell you what, I prayed through that passage and had to start from scratch in my confession session. And this time, the Lord wanted me to expose my cluttered up heart to you-know-who.

That’s why the letter got written, printed out, and given to my husband to read, ponder and discuss with me. And then came the really good talk! God’s so faithful.

James 5:16 says, "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." And I’m already seeing so much fruit. And a fresh vitality in my little ol’ heart.

So I’m just gonna pray again! I’d love it if you’d beg the Lord to continue working in me, too! My hope is in Christ!

Father God,
help me to change and be conformed to your image
and be transformed by the renewing of my mind
through Christ Jesus in spite of how weak I am.

Help me to submit to Bryan by respecting him and honoring him
so that he may joyfully PHILEO me
with a gentle, tenderhearted meekness,
so that our children can obey us in everything
because they’ll see us
walking hand-in-hand & arm-in-arm,
in righteousness, in fruitfulness,
in that active, awesome, affirming AGAPE love.
So they not only “do as we say”, but also “do as we do”,
so they don’t stumble from the Way on our account.
Oh! May they follow us as we follow Christ!

I’m desperate for You, Jesus,
to show up in our marriage and begin a new season of growth.
Empower my husband with Your strength,
Your love, Your wisdom because YOU are the Sufficient One.
Give us hearts of humility, let us be quick to forgive, and even quicker to pray.

Dads&Daughters.org

2008-08-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

Fathers Are Different Than Mothers
http://www.dadsanddaughters.org/

Fathers are different than mothers. It’s so obvious that we don’t even stop to think about what the difference means. As a mom, your relationship with your child develops quite literally from the inside out. For nine months, you and she are together in a physical symbiosis that defies comprehension. On the most elemental level, you share in the unfolding miracle of the baby’s creation, and the day of birth is but a first important milestone in your already established connection.

Fathers, on the other hand, come to their children from the outside from the very beginning. Dads can participate in the progress of mom’s pregnancy; they can place hands in strategic spots to feel the kicks and jabs, listen to the swooshing heartbeat through a stethoscope, and now, thanks to the marvels of technology, dads can watch videos of their child floating gently within her embryonic world. But a father’s experience is always filtered; no matter how he participates, a father never holds his child inside his own body. His first real contact with his child is when he picks up his newborn and cradles her in his arms.

In some profound way, Dads’ biological placement, in the process of birth, mirrors the challenges fathers face throughout their children’s lives. For most mothers, the primary struggle of parenthood is stepping back far enough to allow the child room to grow and develop. The challenge for most fathers, on the other hand, is coming in close enough so that they can build a strong and lasting bond.

Adapted from The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Being a New Dad by Joe Kelly and used by permission.

A friend forwarded the link to this website to me because daughters and their daddies have been on my heart lately. I think the relationship a daughter has with her Dad soooooooooooo defines her. I know this from my own life experience of losing my Daddy at 17... I have a father-figure hunger that was not satisfied until the Lord said, "Hey... I AM Friend. I AM Saviour. But I'd love to be FATHER, if you'll let me in." I say "have" a hunger because, honestly, I still find myself craving affirmation and encouragement from my husband, from my uncles, from my brother, from J.R., from our pastors, from our peers. I just do. The father-daughter relationship is foundational in the development of character and security in every girl.

I also see this in ministry, as I listen to the struggles of my teenage girls. Many of the issues that they struggle with can many times be traced back to how close she is with her Dad and whether she's getting godly love, affection, and adoration from her Papa Bear.

Daddy lifting Kennady up...
so she can "fwy" like a butterfly at her 2nd birthday party in 2006.

It's my heart to see that Bryan loves on our three daughters in a way that will enrich their little hearts and make them feel safe and cherished... that they know he thinks they're perfect in every way. Every girl wants her Daddy wrapped around her finger, right? :) Our sweet girl Kennady wants to be Daddy's princess... and she'll always need his encouragement and him speaking into her life, sculpting her character, lifting her up, pointing her to The [perfect] Father.

"For most mothers, the primary struggle of parenthood is stepping back far enough to allow the child room to grow and develop. The challenge for most fathers, on the other hand, is coming in close enough so that they can build a strong and lasting bond."

So, what do you think about the above quote? Do you think it's accurate? How has the relationship with your Dad defined you and your life choices? If you're a Mama, do you have a hard time giving your children room to define themselves? Do you think you encourage your husband to step in and step up, and do you give him the space to do so?

That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth;
That our daughters may be as pillars,
Sculptured in palace style;

Psalm 144:12

the Cornhuskers

2008-08-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

Bryan brought home sweet corn from the farmer's market. It was our first corn of the summer. He got the kids all set up at the table to shuck it while he fixed dinner. I thought how fun for them, so of course, I grabbed the camera.

But the real fun started when the kids decided to put all the husks in a pile... and then, well, you know... they played like this for a good 20 minutes. Sometimes it's good for me to just let 'em be kids and not stress out over the mess. They had fun.

Bryan said, "Yup... They're true Cornhuskers."

How Beautiful the Feet...

2008-08-19T23:19:00.000-07:00

How beautiful upon the mountains
Are the feet of him who brings good news,
Who proclaims peace,
Who brings glad tidings of good things,
Who proclaims salvation,
Who says to Zion,

“ Your God reigns!”

Isaiah 52:7

So, one might presuppose that I love feet. I do love feet. Conditionally. They must be feet with Trenkle toes. Feet without Trenkle toes, not as much. I do love my kids’ feet, especially when they’re itty bitty. You can bet that I’ll be smoochin’ Baby Karsyn’s feet til she’s about two. That’s when they start being kid-feet and not baby feet. You know, baby feet are like puppies. They’re cute and cuddly and kissable when they’re small and playful and then they grow up to be dogs and they get all hairy and smelly. (Hey? Did I just crack the code on why people call their feet “dogs?”)

ANYWAY. That’s not my point(er). Sheesh, just kidding.

ANYWAY. (for reals this time)

Fact #1: I love baby feet. And I love baby fingers and baby ears (my kids were all born with fuzzy ears) and I love baby smiles. I love babies.

Fact #2: When I’ve been in the Word since Karsyn arrived, I’ve been in the Psalms.

Fact #3: I read Psalm 18 a few days ago and knew this was what the Lord wanted me to meditate on and, well, then I ended up sharing it my girlfriend’s baby shower the other day. Because it mentions feet! (Refer to Fact #1 to reiterate why that is significant for a baby shower.)

31 For who is God, except the LORD?
And who is a rock, except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with
strength, And makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of deer,
And sets me on my high places.

35 You have also given me the shield of Your
salvation; Your right hand has held me up,
Your gentleness has made me great.
36 You enlarged my path under me,
So my feet did not slip.

39 For You have armed me with
strength for the battle.

Fact #4: According to biblegateway.com, the word “feet” is mentioned 228 times in the NKJV. So when I asked my husband, “Guess what the Lord has been showing me!” He said, “What has the Lord been showing you?” And I said, “The Bible mentions feet 228 times!!!” He did not jump up and down with me. He rolled his eyes! (He abhors feet, he does NOT think they are cute or pretty AT ALL.)

Most of the Old Testament references to feet fall into two categories. God was either crushing His enemies under His feet or He was setting people on their feet.

I thought that was pretty significant. Over and over again The LORD God was setting people on their feet, giving them a place to stand.

On a rock. On The Rock. On a path. On an enlarged path. The Bible says He establishes my steps, that His word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path. He keeps my feet from falling. He makes my feet like a deer’s. (I had to recall why deer’s feet are cool for Jesus – it’s because He created deer with surefootedness. Deer can climb to the high places without slipping. Ever read “Hinds' Feet on High Places”?)

And then the verse in Isaiah 52 is one that I’ve loved… “how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news!”

I love that. God thinks our feet are beautiful. And it’s because He’s given them purpose. Our feet have a purpose in the kingdom! To take the good news everywhere we walk. Right now I mostly walk around in my house (still in my jammies from 3 days ago, but hey), I mostly walk in front of my children (to lead them), or behind my children (to guard them), I mostly walk beside my husband (to support him) or in front of him (as he cherishes me as his bride), all the while taking the good news of the Gospel. And you probably won’t find me preachin’ it up on the streets with a blowhorn, ya know, but I’ve got my family with me most of the time and it’s my joy as Mama to teach my kids about the Good News with every opportunity

18 “Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” Deut 11:18-20).

And just as a sidenote, maybe a blowhorn would be a good investment with these squirrely kids of mine, gotta keep track of ‘em somehow – those grocery carts keep shrinking!

We followers of Jesus talk about our “walks” a lot. We’ll ask a friend, “How is your walk with God right now?” or “How close is your walk?” Walk walk walk. And I’m sure you’ve read that poem Footprints, right? Well, this got me thinking (yay, God! one coherent thought… I still have a few braincells in there somewhere!)…

The Bible says to hide God’s word in my heart and soul and teach them to my kids when I… “walk by the way.” It’s the parents’ “job” to teach our kids out to walk, to take those first steps. So we’re holding our tot’s hands and helping them balance, all the while we are taking steps, too. But much to my kids’ dismay, babies are not born ready to stand and run when they get home from the hospital. (Bryson was 2, almost 3, when we brought Kev home and he kept asking us to “Let him out of the carseat, mommy, so I can see him walk!”)

(Kev, 3-days-old, on Bryson's lap, 2006)

No, newborn babes are not ready to bear their own weight on their legs. We carry them for a season. We carry them thru infancy. For the first year of Karsyn’s life, there’ll be my set of footprints and Bryan’s set of footprints until she can walk and then there’ll be 3 sets, as we walk beside her.

Just as the Lord carries us thru seasons. I don’t know how it is for other mamas, but when I’m carrying my child in pregnancy, it’s a real spiritual experience, I feel so intimately connected to the Lord as we partner together in nourishing the babe in the womb. And those first hours after birth, too, are so special and intensely intimate and worshipful. And then I’m not sure when it happens exactly but I go in to bare minimum survival mode where I’m doin’ real good if I make time to read a Psalm or two. That’s when I know the Lord is carrying me. Just like I’ll be carrying my infant until she can walk.

Psalm 119:58-60
58 I entreated Your favor with my whole heart;
Be merciful to me according to Your word.
59 I thought about my ways,
And turned my feet to Your testimonies.
60 I made haste, and did not delay
To keep Your commandments.

It’s Bryan and I’s job to teach our kids how to walk physically AND spiritually. To point them down the right path, to turn our feet to God’s “testimonies” – His Word… The Truth, The Way, The Life!

And it’s not a super easy thing. There’s lots of opposition to parenting biblically – lots of distractions, you know? The world is full of distractions that can keep us from putting the emotional and spiritual needs of our family first… work, money, hobbies, self… mostly self in my case. (I tend to lose track of time, spending it on the frivolous instead of on the necessary.)

It’s a battle. Shepherding our children’s hearts is a battle. Being the wife God asks me to be for Bryan, there’s a battle. Making time to spend with the Lord, there’s a battle. Getting up and getting myself and four babes dressed and fed and make it to a 9am appointment, there’s a battle. Life is full of busy-ness and distractions of all sorts, but God strengthens us for all of it.

39 For You have armed me with strength for the battle.

He’s given us armor! Spiritual armor – we just have to put it on daily, so that we can EFFECTIVELY and VICTORIOUSLY walk the path He’s enlarged before us.

14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. Ephesians 6:14-16

Amen! (Gird my waist with truth? That’s having the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God ready. The breastplate of righteousness, guards my heart, where His Word is hidden. Shod my feet?… that’s being like a Boy Scout, ready to take the good news everywhere. And the shield of Faith, when held up against the enemy, protects me from Satan’s lies and my unbelief.)

And I’ll tell ya, there are days, when I am just exhausted. Every ounce spent and I don’t have the strength to put my armor on! And as I was reading thru the 228 Bible references to “feet,” I came across Hebrews 12:12-13…

12 Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down [weakened, exhausted], and the feeble knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.

Can you picture it? I can… all slumped over, yesterday’s mascara smudged under my eyes complimenting the already dark circles, hands limp, back achy from carrying a fussy baby in a front pack for 3 days (not that I’ve experienced any of this…since… well, never mind). Well, after finding this verse, it’s like the perfect pick-me-up when I’m at my weakest physically and emotionally and spiritually… Make a straight path for my feet… be healed! Which trail should my mrs.trenkle toes tippy? To the Life. To. The. Life.

And the Life is Jesus.

There are lots of times the word “feet” is mentioned in the New Testament, especially in the Gospels. In the Old Testament, God was setting people on their feet. In the Gospels, we see people, again and again, at the feet of Jesus.

Falling at His feet.
Weeping at His feet.
Washing His feet with tears.
Kissing His feet.
Anointing His feet with fragrant oil.
Begging.
Sitting.
Thanking.

That’s where I wanna be. Cozy at Jesus’ feet. And I pray that as I’m watching my kids grow by leaps and bounds, as I’m smoochin’ their toes and tickling their feet that it’ll be a physical reminder be at His.

I want to stand on the Rock that is Christ. I want to walk the paths He’ll make straight for me. I want to armor up. I want to turn my feet toward His testimonies. And then meet up with the Father… at the feet of Jesus. Yeahhhhhh, that’s where I want to be.

Jesus’ feet was a place for the humble of heart.
For the contrite spirit.
For unabashed, unashamed worship.

Because if I’m at His feet, then I’m on my knees.

As a mama and a wife, that’s the place to be.

Blessing - BREAKING - Giving

2008-08-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

"We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered.

"Bring them here to me," He said.

And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, He gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then He gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.

They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.

Matthew 14:13-21

After the wedding my hubby decided it was definitely time to get back to our family routine. It was a tearful ceremony for him. He/we love both those kids, so we teared up out of joy. But I know we also felt moved because of the vows made and the commands the Bible gives about how husbands ought to lead their wives and wash them daily in the water that is the Word of God.

Newborn life is so crazy. It takes us awhile to transition. We've been sporadic about our prayer time. And we haven't had any dinnertime family worship for months. So Monday evening after dinner, we busted out the children's Bible for family devotions. Dad decided to read "Feeding the Five Thousand" to us.

The kids sat in rapt attention as Bry told them about the boy who brought a sack lunch that had 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. But there was no food to be found in the rest of the crowd. A crowd of 5,000 men plus women and children, so probably 20,000 people. (The kids eyes got big.)

The disciples told Jesus to send them away, that there was no food. But Jesus told them to not send them away, but to find some food and give it to them. The kids loved how Jesus told everyone to line up and sit down. (Sounds like when we do "school!")

"How'd He do that, Dad?" when Jesus blessed the food and then broke it and somehow every single person ate enough to make their bellies full. With baskets and baskets of leftovers! It's a miracle! Jesus takes what we offer up to Him and multiplies it so that others can be blessed and edified.

Just like when...

Last Monday after an evening of family photos we grabbed a bite at Burger King. We were all chowing down on some grub when a guy came over to chat with Bryan. I thought he was somebody Bryan had met at the office. But Bryan had never met him before. He was so friendly and just gushing over our family and how blessed Bryan was to have such a big, beautiful family. The guy's name was William and he kept telling us again and again that he loves us and Jesus loves us. (He was a little tipsy.) The kids enjoyed his company and I chatted with him while Bry took one of the kids to the potty. When Bryan came back, William went back to his chair. He kept getting up to refill his coffee and so I peeked over the plants to see if he was eating. No food, just coffee and water.

So I asked Bry to go up and order him a meal. He was so nice, ya know? So he shared some of his fries with the kids and we gave him info on where to find RCF and when the service times were and made him promise us that he'd see us again.

The next day we drove to Bandon, since Lauren wanted to spend the day at the ocean. The first thing we did was pull in to a family style restaurant to fill our bellies. We ordered from the kids menu for our 4 children with teeth... mac/cheese and ham, mac/cheese and ham, mac/cheese and ham, grilled cheese and fries. Bry had a lunch portion of calamari steaks/fries. I was still car sick and the only thing that sounded okay to me was a baked potato. But they only had mashed potatoes on their menu. So I ordered those and ate a few bites (only to realize to my dismay that they were INSTANT -- Idaho girls do NOT eat instant spuds -- yuck).

As we were "enjoying" our meal (you with kids know that it's a circus trying to keep the kids sitting, eating like humans and not baby animals, to not quarrel, to not gawk over the booth at other diners, etc etc), a lady stopped by our table on her way back from the restroom and commented what a beautiful family we had. And how she had grown up in a family of 9 and so she could relate to our family of 7 dining experience. But "God bless ya," she said, "family is such a gift. Enjoy each other."

And when the waitress checked in with us the final time to make sure everything was okay and did we want dessert, she also told us that our check had been paid by another customer who wanted us to have a great day together.

WOW. Jesus just showed up and covered a $50 meal ticket for us. Thru that lady. We were like way blessed and way blown away. Lauren thought that was so cool. Yay, God! She got to see Him at work in such a tangible way.

So back to Monday evening...

We were able to remind the kids that one night we bought William a meal and the next day Jesus bought us six meals because of that nice lady. And how Jesus multiplied the food! Kennady was so excited. It was so cute, she said, "Thanks, Dad! For telling us that Bible story!" Like her little soul just got watered.

So then we asked what each of the kids were thankful for. And most of the time it's a toy they're currently mesmerized with and don't go anywhere without. But this is what they said:

Kennady: "I'm thankful for Grampa Rob."
(Okay... hadn't even talked about him recently.)

Bryson: "I'm thankful for Uncle Rob."
(Okay... same thing.)

Kevan: "Jesssssss."
(As He signs with his hands "Jesus.")

And at that point the dam breaks... I've just got tears streaming. Family devotions absent for much too long and the first night we spend together talking about real stuff, good stuff, life-giving stuff. My kids are getting it, receiving it, and thanking us for it and thanking Jesus for things, scratch that, PEOPLE they love.

Mom: "This." That's all I could say. I was thankful. My thirst was quenched.

Bryan shared more with me the next day...

5 Loaves and 2 fish. Limited resources. But Jesus uses them. Our weakness is His strength.
Notice that in between Jesus' blessing and His giving, that there is breaking.
Before the Lord can use a person greatly, He must allow him/her to be broken deeply, to the core. Eliminating pride and ego while doing it, so that the compassion and tenderness of the Spirit can be ignited.
Jesus doesn't focus on what we lack -- He asks us to offer up what we have.

What is it that you have? What's your measley little lunch?

Christ will turn it into a feast.

Sayin' our Good-byes...

2008-08-12T16:28:00.000-07:00

Check the pink sweatshirt.
(From her shopping spree.)

Check the kids clinging to her legs.
(If it were up to them she'd never be free.)

(Well at least I tried.)
Not easy to do with a heavy SLR camera.
Not a great pic, but I do like the thought behind it
and that at least we're all looking at the camera.

BYYYYYEEEE, Lauren!
(Waving them off... as they head toward the elevators.)

(I had a vision for capturing this moment,
but I didn't have my big flash,
they were in a hurry and hotel hallway lighting stinks.)

Sigh.
It's the moment that counts.
And it's this particular moment we were not looking forward to.

Puh-lease come back soon, Lauren!

Just Wakin' Up

2008-08-12T16:15:00.001-07:00

Dad was in the shower at the hotel so I snapped a few of the Kee-Kat.
(Kris, ya got me goin' on that new little nickname!)

Karsyn - 7 1/2 weeks

All about Hollister.

2008-08-12T16:10:00.000-07:00

Dad got to take his girl shoppin'. With a Visa card.

(woo-hoo)

Dad loaded it and his girl spent it. And she picked up some cuties.
Dad watched the kids as they watched the ice skaters at the Lloyd Center.

And Lauren and I were inside the haven that is Hollister.

Lauren loves elephants.

2008-08-12T16:01:00.001-07:00

Hi, I'm Lauren. I love elephants.

Zoo pics

2008-08-12T15:49:00.003-07:00

Zoo pics

2008-08-12T15:49:00.002-07:00

Zoo pics

2008-08-12T15:49:00.001-07:00

Measurin' up with the Bears

2008-08-12T15:45:00.001-07:00

More Wedding Photos

2008-08-12T15:41:00.001-07:00

Marybeth and Hannah were our first teenage babysitters.

And now look at 'em...

Marybeth, our gorgeous girl, made a gorgeous bride.

And Hannah, her twin, gorgeous little maid of honor.

Carmen and I helped Marybeth coordinate the wedding
and all of the bride's fabulous ideas and details.

And my hubby, the Pastor Officianado. Or whatever.
He cleans up REAL nice.
(Love ya, Babe. You did real good. Nice ceremony.)

More Wedding Photos

2008-08-12T15:35:00.001-07:00

Sooooo Awwwwwesome!

Family of EIGHT here with our girl Mikayla Rae.

Family of SEVEN below.
Seven. (Wow, still blows me away.)

Photos - Carmen Hester

08.08.08

2008-08-08T23:45:00.000-07:00

Isn't today's date really cool? I especially think so, since it's the date my firstborn son was laid in my arms FIVE whole years ago. I really really really didn't think the Lord would tarry long enough for my son to be a kindergartener!!! But wowzers.

So, Bryson got a haircut this week (well 2 actually, because I totally gave him a dumb & dumber cut the first time. so then Dumbest [me] had to torture the boy again and this time with the clippers).

And he wore a tuxedo today. Oh yeah, turnin' five is a big deal at the Trenkles.

Sigh.

Actually, today was a big day for the Trenkles' first babysitter. Marybeth married her main man, Aaron, today and Bryson was the ringbearer who escorted his sister, Kennady, one of the flower girls down the aisle. And Bryan officiated the wedding.

Bryson's big day was spent with the fam. We were a family of 8 today, since we picked up Miki, too! We took everybody to Sonic and then to play at the park, and then a superquick bath, a really messy PBJ sand, a superquick nap and then a little puttin' on the ritz. Dad and the birthday boy strutted their stuff in some pretty fancy duds. After the wedding we rushed home for a superlate supper (homemade fettucinne alfredo ["white noodles" if you ask the kids the name of the recipe]) along with birthday cupcakes all round.

Saturday morning we are off to Portland to the Oregon Zoo. Lauren flies out on Sunday (boo-hooooooo-hoo) which is altogether much too soon.

Trenkles in the Front Yard

2008-08-06T23:56:00.000-07:00

Trenkles in Payback Mode

2008-08-06T23:52:00.000-07:00

(the lens fogged up... so the images are a little funky, but check out my chicas getting my man!)

Trenkles at Chuck E Cheese's

2008-08-06T23:45:00.000-07:00

Trenkles at the Beach

2008-08-06T23:38:00.000-07:00

Trenkle Night Life

2008-08-05T00:34:00.000-07:00

So... just in case you're wondering how I find the time to do like 59 posts in a row, I'll fill ya in on how that works. Karsyn, sweet girl, is awake from about 9 to midnight every night. But she's NOT happy about it. See below:

So, after she's fed and changed and burped and swaddled and sang to and shushed and kissed... she sits on my lap while I sit at the computer. And she cries. She doesn't want the Dad. She doesn't want to lay down yet (apparently) and so she's on my lap crying (like a wildcat, btw) and I jig her on my knee and pat her on her back (I'm getting very good at one-handed keyboarding/mouse usage). And then about 12:36am she conks out like a purring kitten. See below:

I'm so in love with this baby girl. All my kids, I just love 'em. Continually praising Jesus for the thoughtfulness and creativity of each of His gifts to me. My kids keep me on my [trenkle] toes. They keep me humble, grateful, youthful, wonder-ful. My kids keep me in a place of desperately needing the Lord for wisdom and grace. They keep me on my knees. They keep me awake. LOL. They keep me completely and utterly wrapped around their fingers and safe and cozied up in the comforting arms of Jesus. And they keep me connected in that phileo love for my husband who adores them ALMOST as much as I do.

So... even this moment I've got babyK on my lap waiting for her breathing to settle into that deeeeeeeep newborn sleep so I too can get swaddled up into bed for the night. Things are going good so far. Dishes are done and laundry's caught up and I get a shower once in awhile, too! I'll tell you what, though, I've had a few tearful nights. The tears a mixture of exhaustion (as in tired) and exhaustion (as in self-resources), of gratitude (for my family) and of desperation (for the Lord's grace grace grace). And as Bry and I prayed together a few nights ago (first time in a few days, to have that quiet Holy of Holies kind of prayer time with him), I just poured out my heart to Jesus... so grateful that He is the lifter of my head and the filler of my cup, you know?

I was telling my friend Gracie after one of those tearful nights how I am so grateful for friendships like hers. I'd just gotten done praying with my hubby and checked my email while babyK was on my lap for our nightly quality time. And I'll tell ya what, her timely words of affirmation and encouragement were exactly how in that moment our Jesus was lifting my head and filling my cup. He is so good to me. And I am glad to have you, too! I covet your prayers.

These early newborn days are precious and unpredictable. I need to keep first things first. I'm begging Jesus to protect my marriage from any sly sabotaging the enemy is trying to do. I'm begging Jesus to help me continue in child-training and not be child-tolerating (I know I have to choose my battles b/c there's so many many many minutes I spend nursing -- leaving me tied up and so then I feel like all I'm doing is making threats and not following through). I'm begging Jesus for His mercy and His grace, so much grace. I know His banner over me is love and I'm glad He covers me, swaddles me, comforts me, shushes me with His tenderness, even as I love on my baby girl in exactly the same way.

Love You, Jesus.

(And hey... she's asleep! Time to lay her down. Sssshhhhhhhhh...)
Oh! And look at the time. Whaddya know.

Cinderella

2008-08-04T23:48:00.000-07:00

I took my THREE daughters to watch Cinderella at the Oregon Musical Theater (or some such thing). It was one of the summer youth activities we planned for the high schoolers. The cutie in the blue dress is in our youth group. Although Rachael was not THE Cinderella (but rather a townsperson-slash-ballroom dancer), she was THE Cinderella in my daughter's eyes. Kenna refused to be photographed with Cinderella. Sorry, Princess... Kennady is very particular about her royalty. And only Rachael and Lauren fit the bill today, no matter how many jewels in your crown.

Dedicated

2008-08-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

We decided to have Karsyn dedicated while Lauren Ashlee was here. How cool is it for us to have all FIVE of our kids together on such a rad day! It's an honor and a blessing to have been given these babes as a gift from Jesus. And it's an honor and a blessing to give each one of them back to Him. They're His creation, His handiwork and they're on loan to us for such a short time. So with joy we lift them back to Him, by faith and fully trusting our God to work out His plan in each of their lives. And on Sunday it was Karsyn's turn.

We asked Glenn to dedicate her. He and Yvonne have become Brother & Sister and Uncle & Aunt to us. They've been the closest thing to family we've had over here in the 8 years we've lived in Oregon. And it was pretty special to have Glenn share some encouragement and a good word and pray over our newest babe and over the family and introduce Lauren to the RCF fam.

Thank you, Jesus!

Boxing with Lauren

2008-08-04T23:18:00.000-07:00

Lauren Ashlee is HERE!

She's spending 9 days with us and we are thrilled.

So thrilled in fact that the kids practically ran the mile up and down our hallway in hyperdrive after she walked in the door for the first time in SIX YEARS.
And then they pulled out the boxing gloves.

Welcome to Oregon, Lauren.
Hope you don't like QUIET!!!

Kennady loves Baby Trenkles

2008-08-04T23:09:00.001-07:00

Kennady snuggles with Karsyn in the girls' room.

Kennady (22-mos) two years ago... holding Baby Kevan (4-wks).
I just marvel at how much they've changed!

It's Baby Kennabear holding Baby Kevan.
It's so hard to believe that they grow THIS fast.

Oh, Karsyn, stay itty-bitty for us, please?